Instead of thinking, just do?

If I just act instead of thinking deeply into something, I will realize/mobilize a lot of dreams I have in life. If I just did instead of thinking about the repercussions of doing, I would have achieved a lot of things.

Maybe this ought to make me think less? If I realize I am actually unable to do things (due to monetary, time, and physical constraints) I will be more selective of the thoughts I entertain.

The Good Sahur

Today, in an almost unprecedented occasion. I’ve had the best sahur. I don’t think I’ve felt this good post-sahur before. I don’t feel bloated, I don’t feel too full to a point where I can’t move. I just know that my stomach is filled sufficiently, without the repercussions of feeling lethargic.

I had mostly protein (chicken) from the leftover ayam masak kicap (chicken cooked in soy sauce) and sambal sotong (squid cooked in chili paste), and as for the base, instead of having rice, I replaced it with potatoes for carbohydrates instead. I controlled the portion so as not to consume them excessively. When the portion of food on the plate is a little, I can also control the amount I put into my mouth as I’m feeding it.

P\S: in order to control the amount of food I feed my mouth at a particular time, I must begin with small portions in one seating. If I ever do feel that the portion I’m having is not enough, I will incrementally add upon my plate as I feel appropriate.

I’m a little pissed about how today went

I arrived late to work. When I arrived, my students weren’t there. This was because they had an exam they had to prepare for. They texted early in the morning about how they’d miss my class. I still showed up, albeit late. Maybe unconsciously I knew that they weren’t going to be there anyway, but still, I was late. I showered and left house early and everything yet was still late. It was all due to unforeseen circumstances (there was major congestion). Again, safety nets. Just because I know they weren’t going to be there, I was lenient with myself. Is this my way of preserving my sanity? I don’t know. I used the time in class alone to catch up on all the things I’ve been behind on: participation forms, marksheet and even the referral question papers I’m to submit by the 30th.

Apart from that, my boss reminded me of the referral question, which kinda sucked (for me). It sucked because it’s like she’s reminding me of something I was already working on. Also, she was just being a good manager ensuring that I do my work. I can’t be completely angry at her.

Another thing, the server for the web attendance was down, which meant that it hampered my speed of working for today. I was pissed at myself for not foreseeing this and printing the thing out early on.

I should really use my left leg more

I have been including mobility exercises in my routine. They include stretching the obliques, and most importantly my legs. I found that I have been using my right leg more than I do my left leg. The knee on my right leg hurts, especially when I try to get up from sitting down.

I noticed that if I focus on using my left leg more, I could relieve the stress I put solely on my right leg unto my left leg. This way, I can find balance so as not to exhaust the knee on my right leg.

Apart from that, I have been incorporating stretches which focus on my glutes. I plank while doing this, lifting my legs upwards one at a time in order to engage those muscles as well. I notice that my left leg engages my glutes better than my right leg does. In addition, it seems that my right leg has a tendency to be poking out a bit when stretching in this way. In comparison, I feel that my left leg is engaged rightly while my right leg is engaged slightly less efficiently. I guess my right leg needs to be tucked in on the center of my body more than it has been all this while.

I believe that these mobility exercises may help improve my posture-problems and the way I walk in general. I need to be more even with my distribution of weight while standing up. This may be the key to improving my core apart from improving my overall stability while standing.

Remembering my old ways

I have been slacking off in terms of controlling what I eat and working out in general.

Maybe it’s partly due to how everyone has been saying I look too skinny and how I want to gain a little meat? But being meaty does not mean having fat, or being ‘fatty’. Maybe it was my own view of myself looking rather ‘haggard’ (whatever that means)? Maybe it was due to my own wants of eating unhealthy foods? Maybe it was due to stress so I resorted to eating? I guess it goes back to the stress-eating thing I mentioned before.

However, I can still put on weight, to not be anorexic or overly particular about how skinny I can look. But, my putting on weight has to be by gaining muscle, not fat. I believe the low carb, high protein, high fat diet did not work that well for me. To me, it seems more like an excuse to binge on the fatty food (I have always loved a good cheesy scrambled eggs). The milk and the yoghurt also probably didn’t help. Now that we’re recalling things which I ate, the ice-cream probably didn’t help too 😂

All in all, I believe I should focus back on the protein-intake; by buying whole foods and making complete set of meals which prioritizes protein above all else since I will be working out. The carbs and the fat will still be part of my diet, but in a moderate to low amount. Just enough to satiate my cravings. I need to find my old ways.

I should focus on eating a complete set of meal, and complete the eating in one seating so that I don’t overindulge with snacking. No more high fat. I will limit fat wherever possible. That means less oily food, and less dairy. I need to watch my cholesterol. Diabetes is bad, but high cholesterol can cause numerous coronary-related diseases.

It’s okay. One step at a time, Arif. You’re still learning things. Focus on what is in front of you.