Life is about doing, not so much talking—. One thing I learned recently is that if I am not sure of something, I should not be talking about it. This is especially true if I only know something on the surface-level. I should do further research about something before divulging on it further. Always, I forget to do this. This is a very bad behaviour. Aside from not doing sufficient research before talking about something, I should also not talk about it if I am not readily doing it, or if I am not planning to do it in the near future. If I talk about something without really doing something, I will be a hypocrite. If I talk about something without any real plans to do it, then what is the purpose?
It boils down to ‘humility’, and the bearing of it from having not ‘do’. Humility is something I lack. I refuse to accept that there are things which I do not readily know. If there are things which I readily do not know, I should make active efforts to ensure that I am knowledgeable of that topic. Once I am knowledgeable, or has sufficient knowledge warrants me to talk explain the concept to other people, then I can speak about it.
It boils down to ‘humility’, and the bearing of it from having not ‘do’
For instance, when I started intermittent fasting, I was quiet. I did not really spoke about it to anyone—no one really knew what I was doing. All they knew at the time was that I was losing weight, and at such a rapid pace. They were also quite worried for my health. There were very few people in my personal-life that know about my intermittent fasting routine. However, none from work knew what I was really doing, well except for Zahid, but Zahid and I always share tips about fitness and health to each other. Eventually, when the questions about how I am looking arose at work, I decided to speak about it more, and extend the circle of people who know about my intermittent fasting to my work-life. This is very good, right? Being reserved so that I do not look like I am trying to influence others to do something that I am just starting? Wrong. It is when I began to talk about fasting that I realize I cannot stop talking about it. I began to talk about it in a very elaborate way. I know it became annoying. I would talk about it usually when my colleagues and I would have lunch together. Mostly, it is because I do not know what else to talk about. Naturally, I figured why not talk about something that I am beginning to become good at. Key-words: beginning, to, become, good, and at. I am in no way so adept to the lifestyle that it permits me to irk and annoy people with my boring ‘facts’ about health. Heck, looking back at it, I realize it was all surface-level knowledge. I only recently dug up more about sugar (the types) and how it is converted to energy. Previously, it was just suppressing hunger. I mean I looked at researches and videos about leptin and the chemicals in our body that makes us hungry, but basically, that is it. It is essentially, suppression. The suppression of my hunger. Looking back, it is very dangerous, and it really does not even look like a sustainable way to live. Making health a priority is about making lifestyle changes. I am changing the way I eat, therefore I am trying to make changes to the way I live. It should be a way of living, not a fad that one follows briefly and skips to the next.
One particular incident sort of bugs me until today. I was having my lunch—my usual keto-centric diet of boiled cauliflower and broccoli, and a piece of chicken breast. Occasionally I throw in tofu into the mix to make it more fun, but also because tofu adds to the protein I am already getting with the meal. As with every lunch that is had with fellow colleagues, it would cover various interesting topics. Some are insightful, knowledge-filled discussions, while some may make you squirm and uncomfortable. While having the meal, the conversation we were having began to veer towards substance-abuse. I pointed out my own substance abuse which was nicotine. My colleague pointed out how I am very health-centric but has a nicotine-addiction. This sort of negates my so called “lifestyle change”. And you know what, she was right. Maybe I am a bit of a hypocrite. Although I will not say I have not given the thought of quitting ‘vaping’ completely, I have not been making active efforts to cut down on my bad habit. Aside from trying to limit myself with the amount of vaping I do, there really is no active-effort done in my part to stop vaping.
In short, I sort of feel like an imposter. I really, really need to be in tune with the side of me that cherishes ‘humility’ above arrogance or pride. One way that I can learn humility is to learn. I should be able to learn humility from learning.
Learning keeps you humble, because you are in the process of discovering things which you do not know. And the more you read or learn about something, the more you realize that you simply do not know about that one thing.